moms & xmas.


i just finished reading deborah tannen’s you’re wearing that? last night, about mother/daughter communication, and it made me miss my own mom, who i’ve always been very close to. with the way my schedule has been lately, we barely speak or see each other anymore, except for a brief few minutes after the 10 a.m. mass on sundays. so i went over there this morning to beg a ride to the park n’ ride so we could get a chance to chat and, in the course of our conversation (what do you want for christmas, mom?), my mother declared that there would be no xmas this year.


i was just chatting with dr. jill the other day about how xmas is the only good part of winter. it’s the smells (pine & spice & impending snow) and the sparkle (twinkly lights & glitter ornaments) and the music (okay, i’ll admit it; mariah carey’s all i want for christmas is you is my favorite xmas song) and the overarching sense of tradition. every year we decorate the tree together while playing christmas shoes (or some other crappy holiday cd my mom loves). every year, my mom and i bake at least four different types of xmas cookies together. every year, i sing at the xmas eve mass, and three xmas day masses, tearing up every time we get that standing ovation for the hallelujah chorus. every year we have london broil and artichokes and other good things. every year we spend eons opening gifts with my uncle.

no. this cannot not happen.

i know my mother has been under a lot of stress. she’s been dealing with the guilt of having to place my grandfather in a nursing home. she has been dealing with the trauma and hard labor of cleaning out my grandfather’s house and putting it on the market. (she accepted an offer and now has to have the house completely empty by 12/6. !!!) she had been dealing with the financial burden of all these papa-house fix-ups, and some other large expenses that came her way (um. including my wedding).

my master plan is now to have my immediate family over for xmas at my house. i will cook me up some london broil. mashed potatoes. veggie casserole. artichokes. i will bake a trillion cookies. i will make my condo a winter wonderland. i will force the xmas cheer, by god.

i know it makes my mom sad when the holidays become smaller and smaller every year. i’m working this thanksgiving, and my mother is trying to figure out whether she should spend thanksgiving at the nursing home for their holiday party or spend it at home. this makes me sad.

i must revive the holiday spirit, at whatever cost.

xmas mom.


2 Responses to “moms & xmas.”

  1. 1 christina

    no christmas! I cannot imagine. Go for it steph, Bring christmas to your condo! I know how much you love x-mas. (I will miss my yearly plate of christmas cookies, tear)
    Take on the tradition, take to torch, just remember, This is meant to be a time of Joy!

  2. that condo will be bursting with xmas cheer, by god. perhaps i should start baking now…

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